The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
