drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
