the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
