Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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