isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
