I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize