can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
