I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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