i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize