I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
