I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
