Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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