Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
