I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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