left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
