he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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