I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
