on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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