you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize