I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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