The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
So squirting runs in the family.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
