Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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