I skipped work to stalk him.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize