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Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
