No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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