My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
