her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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