yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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