you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
