I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
My feet surprised me
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