Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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