i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
