we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
