she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize