I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
My penis needs a shock collar
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
