Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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