The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
My Sexting was not on an AP level
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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