I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
My ass is underappreciated
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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