What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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