It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
