why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize