but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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