Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
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