im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
