I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
