I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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