apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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