party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
