I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize