Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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