a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize