If that was your dad, he is hot
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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