Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
