Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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