I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
COCAINE IS GR8
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
