Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
