I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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