9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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