the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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