We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
