The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize