Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
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