cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
